No matter what technique is employed, it seems impossible to cool off our second floor. Yes, I am well-versed with the law of physics that says "hot air rises," but it goes beyond that. It probably doesn't help that I had hot coffee this morning (when don't I?) and a lunch of seafood pasta at Olive Garden. Perhaps ice cream is a solution when seeking a cooling effect.
Speaking of ice cream (*cough* lame segue *cough*), I'd like to tell you about a little known aspect of the alien/UFO conspiracy: the Grays like strawberry ice cream.
In fall of 1988, there was a TV special called UFO Cover Up: Live! Recent data corruption of my mental hard drive (i.e. age) keeps me from saying exactly which network aired it, but I believe it was NBC. At any rate, the special was hosted by Mike Farrell (from TV's MASH) and featured a veritable who's who in Ufology, including Stanton Friedman and Linda Moulton Howe.
Among the featured "evidence" was an interview with someone known only as "Falcon." The man was presented in silhouette and his voice was distorted. Falcon claimed to be a special agent working somewhere high within an undisclosed arm of the intelligence community. Not only did Falcon pull a "Deep Throat" and confirm alien contact and a government conspiracy to cover it up, he asserted that he had interacted with live EBEs (Extraterrestrial Biological Entities) in the government's care.
Falcon went on to describe the Grays to the TV audience. He told what the government knew about alien biology, culture (they like Tibetan music), technology, and even what they liked to eat. Apparently, their favorite snack is strawberry ice cream. Here's a snippet:
And pretty much all plausibility went out the window right there. Didn't matter what solid case the investigators had built for a government cover-up, as soon as the "strawberry ice cream" comment hit the air, America let out a collective laugh. My friend Brad and I joked all through the remainder of high school about what we called "The Strawberry Ice Cream Show." I probably gave McDonald's a single-handed economic boost by ordering strawberry milkshakes just for giggles. It was a lot of fun.
Still, all questions of authenticity aside, is the idea of aliens liking a sugary dessert that far fetched? I mean, I don't know. Maybe they really do like strawberry ice cream? We do, why wouldn't they? And why shouldn't we have faith in this tell-all documentary? It had Mike Farrell as its host. TV's B.J. Honeycutt for flip's sake!
Sigh. Yes, I know there are any number of reasons to be skeptical about the authenticity of "Falcon" and that his comments should be taken with a Gibraltar-sized grain of salt.
But if you ever open your carton of Neapolitan ice cream and find that the strawberry third has been scooped out...you may have been visited.
Follow me on Twitter: @Jntweets