Image from the Star Trek episode, "The Tholian Web," copyright Paramount Pictures.
"It's just a TV show."
I've heard that
said in jest and I've said it myself, dripping with smugness and cruelty.
As I've written before, I regret those sentiments and the awful attitude that spawned them. Recently, I was reminded yet once more of just how wrong I was. It happened while watching the original
Star Trek, specifically an episode called, "The Tholian Web." It sent me all the way back to the 1980s and my freshman year of high school.
While supposedly "the best years of your life," my high school experience was anything but. In fact, it was downright miserable and I hated damn near every day I had to go. I was the son of a college professor in a rural, agricultural community where football and basketball are viewed as sacred rites, somewhere above confession but just ever so slightly beneath communion, to use a Catholic comparison. Me? I was a scrawny, socially awkward kid who liked books and computers.
It caught on fast that I was no athlete and I had no desire to be. "That's fine, boy," school admins told me before rushing off to dandle their beloved players. "But don't you be inflicting your views on anyone else." I think I got that when I protested having to go to pep rallies rather than class. Why the hell should I be forced to sit in those bleachers or stands and cheer on very same people who beat me up? For no reason?
Yeah. I got your "Bomber pride" right here.
If it sounds like a cliche, well...it is. But these are the sorts of experiences that tend to give people a creative sensibility. So I got that going for me. Which is nice. But I digress...
Like I said, the episode took me back to a Saturday in early March during my freshman year. I was at a school function for one reason or another, hanging with Mel, one of the few friends I had at the time. A small mass of upperclassmen came over to us.
"Got a joke for you," one guy told Mel.
He cupped a hand to Mel's ear, leaned in and whispered. One of the other troglodytes turned to me with a smile I'll never forget and said, "It's a good joke."
After hearing it, Mel rolled his eyes while the others laughed and went away.
"Was that about me?" I asked Mel.
"Yes," he answered. "But when they do that, I stick up for you."
Just a joke. Didn't stop it from haunting me all the rest of the day. The fact that the incident happened at all drilled holes into me, slicing and cutting until years later, I would have no choice but to steel myself and fight back, taking it out on all the wrong people. But that's another story.
I just could not get past the fact that so many people disliked me. What was more, even if they knew what it did to me, it likely would make no difference. For if it would, they wouldn't be doing it in the first place. I must, for whatever reason, be worthy of all this animosity.
All of that tossed and roiled in my brain as I went home at the end of the day. There was nothing else I could do except what I did every Saturday at 4pm: watch
Star Trek.
Yeah like I said, this could not be any more cliche.
The episode was called "The Tholian Web." In it, the
Enterprise comes across the
Defiant, a sister ship of the fleet. The latter ship is found drifting dead in space. The usual suspects of the
Star Trek cast beam over and find that the crew of the
Defiant is missing. This is due to the fact that the area of space is a border zone between dimensions and the
Defiant is slowly slipping into it. The
Enterprise folks decide to high tail it out of there, but Captain Kirk gets left behind, falling into the other dimension.
Spock is therefore in command, and he immediately begins efforts to get his friend and their Captain back. Things go from bad to worse as ships full of aliens called Tholians arrive, accusing the
Enterprise of intruding in their territory. They begin to wrap the
Enterprise in an energy web, imprisoning it. Spock can't catch a break because not only is the Captain missing in transdimensional space, not only are they under attack from hostile aliens, the crew is revolting against his his "all logic, no emotion" style of leadership in this crisis, particularly the hotheaded Dr. McCoy, who second-guesses all of Spock's orders.
While this episode does not rank high among fans as there is a good deal of cheese present (come on, which episode of ST:TOS is free of it?), I think it might actually be my all-time favorite one. Yes, it's sentimental for me, as the episode came at just the right time and acted as a balm, taking my mind from my present circumstances to someplace fantastic, ameliorating the slings and arrows from my thoughtless peers. It's more than that, however. In a weird, meta way, it felt like Judy Burns and Chet Richards wrote that episode just for me, just for that very moment in my life. One scene in particular gave me that impression.
Since Kirk was presumed dead, Spock and McCoy had to watch a video Kirk left behind for them in the event anything should anything happen to him. In it, Kirk tells them both to...essentially...cut one another some slack. He explains to McCoy that Spock is facing the most difficult decisions of his career and that he must be quietly straining and struggling beyond belief in that moment. Spock, on the other hand, should temper his logic with the human insight that McCoy could provide. Once the video ended, both men stood in silence for a time. Until...
McCoy: Spock...I'm sorry. It must be difficult.
Spock: What would you have me say, Doctor?
Later, I would remember this moment when a cooler head told me that much of what is taken as malice is actually born out of ignorance. That, and the fact that everyone is fighting a battle we know nothing about. Be kind. Advice I should have followed more often in my life. In that moment, however, I saw that scene written as holding the promise that two people in conflict could come to understanding if they just had the merest glimpse into one another's heads. Somewhere, there was hope.
That, and I did have at least one or two good friends like Mel, a wonderful guy that I should have spent a lot more time with when I could've. "I stick up for you." Those words of his still mean a great deal to me.
"Just a TV show"?
It comes from the written word...and few things can change you like the written word.
And it may come from the most surprising and unsuspecting of places.
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