My guest-blogger and dear friend Graymalkin has a post for us tonight and I daresay he has outdone himself. Tonight, Graymalkin brings transhumanism to...yours truly. Behold Jon v2.0:
"A great friend of mine, Jon, will
always be searching for some form of transcending his own meager
existence. It is a curse he has and always will have to endure until
the end of time, at least if he has his wish. I too believe in
transcending humanity, but have a different perspective on the reality
of such an existence so I will torment him a bit with my story of his
future...
Someone
will create a brain scan of his mind and map all of the axons and
neurons and create an external processor / brain map that interprets the
patterns and forms the exact same ‘thought’ output as his physical
entity. That will happen. I’ll give him that. Now at this point, the
person/entity in charge of the hardware solution will turn to Jon v 2.0
and ask his permission to terminate the processes on the outdated
hardware. Jon v1.0 will look horrified as Jon v2.0 tries to assure him
that he is a complete and perfect copy and can’t believe the superiority
of which his existence is.
“Without
doubt, James (Jon's actual first name), may I call you James since it no longer seems appropriate
for me to refer to you as myself, you can ascertain that your little
mind can only suffer and continue to suffer in knowledge that you should
smack your forehead in frustration of your inferior abilities. I have
already, in the time that it has taken for you to demonstrate your shock
and appall written fourteen novels of which I can predict with 93.2%
accuracy twelve will be published and 4 will receive great aplomb and
yes, even immortality among the greats. With your suffering, you only
continue to cause me pain sympathetically speaking. Please accept the
assistance given to you now in for form of this hypo-spray based pain
ending treatment of which only one treatment will be necessary to
permanently end my pain.”
Ok,
I am paraphrasing Jon v2.0 because clearly I am in no way a match for
Jon v1.0’s word smithing skill, let alone his superior progeny! He has
always loved and excelled with the words way more than I (way more than
me) crap… fix my damn grammar stupid word processor!!!
Really!?!?!?! Stupid spell checker making fun of the way I spell every
third ‘big’ word…. Ok… you get my point. Jon v1.0 is a genius level
writer compared to my penultimate writing skills!
Anyways
back to Jon v1.0. I can only assume that Jon v1.0 by this time has
finally come to the same conclusion about his old self as Jon v2.0 (only
a lot slower). Seriously, Jon v1.0’s brain waves match Jon v2.0’s
identically, (if only on a lot larger wavelength) so why on earth
wouldn't he agree completely?!
Jon v1.0 will probably even lovingly hug Jon v2.0 as the treatment is applied.
Jon v2.0 will not shed a tear."
Oh bra-vo, Graymalkin. Uploading will commence as soon as you're ready. Beta testing to follow shortly thereafter. I have taken the liberty of deleting Windows from my hard drive.
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