Friday, January 27, 2012

Aliens will attack! It's in the Bible

Unrelenting in my dedication to hunting The Weird, I take to the highways and by-ways of our super information conduit, the Internet, meandering and wandering to wherever strange currents might take me.  This time, I've come upon a real classic.

Aliens are going to attack Earth.  How do I know?  It's in The Bible.
No, seriously.  Err, at least a few people seem to think so.  I visited this web site called and they had this to say about strange visitors from other worlds:

"Have you noticed the recent attraction to UFOs and aliens? They seem to be a part of everything, everywhere a person goes. They are seen regularly on TV, and there are many popular movies and books written about them. There are stuffed animals and balloons made of them, also cups, stickers, and even guitar picks that have their faces on them. There are bumper stickers telling us to believe in them. Everywhere we go and everything we do, we usually end up seeing their faces somewhere. Why is this? Especially when we hear that they abduct people against their will and perform experiments on them. Still, they are very popular. What had started out in fear years ago has now turned to faith in them among our society. They have become a new religion."

That's right folks.  The whole idea behind alien contact is to sucker us, to lead us away from Jesus.  Nosing around, I found a forum site where a poster outlined the whole scenario...including biblical passages to back it up.  In their mind, anyway.

Apparently, the idea is that our world come under the threat of imminent alien invasion.  Due to this crisis, the nations of Earth will unite as one unified force...a "new world order" if you will...and appoint one man as supreme leader of our planet.  This Earth President or whatever will declare that any alien craft entering our atmosphere will be destroyed.  For by pooling our resources, we will then build laser cannons that will shoot down any alien spaceships that approach our big blue marble in space.  The alien leader will be so in awe of our UN President, read antichrist, that the ET will surrender and pledge to molest Earth no more.  All us humans will worship this UN President, again read antichrist just to make sure you're following...and I'm flippin' positive that there are certain precincts who will tell you we're talking about Barack Obama here...and bestow him with thanks, praise, and all of our rights as human beings.

The author of this forum post cited the following Biblical verses to support his/her claim.

Revelation 13:4 says, "And the world worshipped [sic] the beast
(antichrist) saying, who is like unto the beast? Who is able to
make war with him?"

Luke 21:11 says "there will be terrible earthquakes,
famine and plagues everywhere; there will be
strange and terrifying things coming from the sky (UFOs)."

Jeremiah 10: 1,2 (GNB)  "People of Israel, listen to the message that the Lord has for
you. He says do not follow the ways of other nations, do not be
disturbed by unusual sights in the sky even though other nations
are terrified."

Can I say that this isn't true?  Of course not.  This is all predicated upon a book that is itself an exercise in faith.  I am not about to tell anyone that their faith or their spiritual belief is wrong.  I don't even do that to the evangelists that come to my door, attempting to conciliate me into returning to a church.  I will say, however, that I fall on the skeptical side of all of this, especially when citations of the Book of Revelations are used as evidence.  I'm of the opinion that you can infer damn near anything you want to out of Revelations.  Best way to wash your car, a damn good fried chicken recipe, it's all in there somewhere I'm certain if you just choose to look for it.  

But I got to tell ya, there is one thing about this that offends me, that makes me feel angry and betrayed.  I made it through ten years of Catholic school and three years of CCD.  Not once did they ever mention cool stuff like this.

Follow me on Twitter: @Jntweets


  1. If anybody finds an interpretation of The Bible that includes the phrase "death ray," please let me know!


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