Friday, January 31, 2014

Go home, Curiosity. You're drunk.

So what if Obama made no sweeping proposals for space exploration in his State of the Union?  The Onion has extended its satirical reach to Mars.

As reported one month ago (I know, I failed you all in not finding this story sooner), NASA has discovered that the Curiosity rover has now become delirious.  The automated rover began transmitting messages saying it had found a clear stream of liquid water and that Mars can definitely support evidenced by the palm fronds encircling the scene.

"We remain skeptical that Curiosity has in fact come across a plentiful source of water that we somehow overlooked for several decades," said rover project boffin, Ashwin Vasavada. 

At press time for the article, Curiosity reported discovering an alluring, seductive lady rover.

Now hold up a bit.  I'm all for skepticism and critical thinking, but perhaps the rover's NASA handlers are being a bit too tough on the guy?  He's all alone up there and not all of us are built for that sort of isolation...well, except for me, that is.  Anyway, it's entirely likely that the automated rover could...well, go a little funny.  A little "temporary data corruption" so to speak.  One could not blame Curiosity for losing his grip upon his faculties.

Then again, the rover may have come across our first confirmed find of life outside the Earth, even if in a robotic form.  All the pulp mags and 1950s B-movies said it would go down this way, right?  We'd find "alluring, seductive" versions of ourselves a la Queen of Outer Space and Fire Maidens from Outer Space.


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