Wednesday, May 13, 2015

Climate change: it would be more fun if it were terraforming




Charlie Sheen first tackled climate change back in 1996.

That's long before the phrase was even close to being a household word. I refer, of course, to his film The Arrival of that same year. It really is far better than you might think and it has actually earned an entry on my long list of favorites. But more on that in a moment.

Climate change isn't going anywhere. In fact, the news just seems to get more dire every day. There are now record levels of carbon dioxide in our atmosphere, it will only take an overall temperature rise of about 2-degrees Celsius for things to get Earth-changingly bad, and while all this is happening, Republican members of the House voted to slash $300 million from NASA's Earth sciences budget. You know, that wing of the agency that studies occurrences like climate change? As is accurately summed up by the headline at that last link for Discover, the GOP mandate on the issue appears to be: "Put on this blindfold and just keep marching."

There are many things one can make of all this and few of them are good. To my way of thinking, one of the reasons we're in this collective pickle has to do with a mentality expressed in an interview with Nick Bostrom a few years back: humanity tends to grossly underestimate its chances of extinction. 

It may be hubris. Humanity is the greatest thing going in the universe. We can do pretty much anything. We can cross the oceans, build great cities, harness nuclear power, map our own genome, and take fledgling steps into space. Come at us, bro.

It may be denial. It's too big of a problem or we can't really face the fact that it is happening, so turn the TV on or the music up louder. Maybe it will all just go away. That seems to be Florida's plan.

Humanity could go extinct for a number of reasons that have nothing to do with us. Far more likely, however, is the risk of us doing ourselves in. Destroying our environment through climate change is exactly that. Which brings me back around somehow to Charlie Sheen.

The Arrival is about aliens surreptitiously terraforming our planet. Climate change really isn't our fault. Instead, it is caused by these aliens who are altering the environment to make the Earth more hospitable to their own species while wiping out humanity in the process. You know what? I'd be down with that. Because that way, it wouldn't be our fault.

Environmental ruin would not be because of political stupidity, of a refusal to believe in scientific data, or because of a tag-team duo of greed and ignorance. It would not be a case of worldwide suicide. No, it's evil aliens that are to blame. We've been terraformed against our will and the new alien residents will be moving in momentarily. We're off the hook.

Oh look! There's hope! I shouldn't be surprised, but "alien terraforming" has already been making the rounds for quite a while now on alien and conspiracy-related sites. It might all have to do with chemtrails and an alien race with a need for aluminum. There's still a chance we're not as stupid as I think we are. Then again, perhaps it's the aliens, the NWO, and greedy corporations all in syzygy. Curses.

Just remember folks: nowhere is it written that humanity must survive. We're one good Tunguska-level event from going out.




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