Thursday, December 15, 2011

William Burroughs guest-reviews at Board Game Geek




Board Game Geek is a site for people who still prefer their gaming to be done on a table top with dice and bereft of controllers or consoles.

I can understand that.  I'm a big fan of Axis & Allies and even its bastard cousin, Fortress America.  And that's not even even going into all of the tabletop RPGs I've played and loved over the years.
Now, an enterprising member of the Board Game Geek forum has developed a set of reviews for the best games of December 2011...only he has done so via the cut-up method. 
You can find out more about this literary technique at my long-suffering sister blog, Why Did I Write That?  Suffice to say that it is a method made popular by the venerable William S. Burroughs (read: literary god) even though he learned it from Brion Gysin.  In the employment of this method, one or two texts are cut apart and the words then rearranged to create an entirely new literary text.  In the words of Burroughs, "when you cut into the future, the truth leaks out."  What follows is...I can almost guarantee you...the veriest, utmost collection of Burroughs-styled game reviews anywhere on the Internets.  We'll start off with the full review for the game Earth Reborn just to set the mood:

"the to and a game of i is this it in with but for that you are play my rules scenario more like have be on one as so not scenarios all played can very time really great just only up it's first an me much if games there will fun get - has out some too or star good was rating i'm don't playing when through than from do best board even system into theme tactical at think they i've also what way we well how which combat still set about after space would want player setup by components"

I'll say.  Here's a choice bit from the game Dominant Species: "many area by turn lot hours after has bit placement."
The truth leaks out indeed. 
But wait.  It gets better.  This is quite a line from a review of Alien Frontiers: "don't think control."
That, to me, is so cool.  That statement is probably both true and accurate in almost any way you look at it. 
And what of the game Civilization?  Let's see: "civilization be not games great on - very if players was good more."
How about Combat Commander: Europe?  Check this out, Bernard: "love first other think war."  Were truer words ever spoken?
Mansions of Madness: "horror time fun."  Most succinct.
Caylus: "some think what strategy."  That's usually me in these games.  Here's another one for you, Bernard...
Advanced Squad Leader: "play asl have with not all my time."  Sure you don't.
Ticket to Ride: Nordic Countries  "more ticket play you like ride."  Sounds simple enough to me.
And for Carcassonne: "enjoy light best bit wife."  That's funny.  I've never known a wife to play any of these kinds of games.  I must not have hung out in the right circles.

Personally, I'm just glad to see someone invoking Burroughs and keeping the cut-up technique alive and well.  I'm sure that Burroughs would have wanted it that way. 


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