Ever get that “unmoored” feeling?
Moored, as in a ship to a dock or otherwise stable structure. If the ship loses its moorings, it goes adrift. Lost at sea. It may be my orientation as a science fiction writer that causes me to dwell upon what gruesome reality it would be for my variety of ships to get lost in the void.
What do you do when the center of your universe falls away? Try to find it? Try to replace it? Or just live with the vacuous hole left behind? You can compress the wound with all manner of exterior balms and activities, but it still bleeds. Most frightening of all, it might never stop bleeding.
In looking for material to incorporate into this post, I came across this line from Shakespeare’s Richard II:
“Woe, destruction, ruin, and decay;
The worst is death, and death will have his day.”
The worst? I’m not so sure I agree with that. Attempting to live through destruction, ruin, and decay is the far more arduous task. Even going through woe (and such a thing is relative) can be far worse. With death, everything is certain. One way or another, whatever your spirituality comes from the Bible or the bottled kind, you’ll know what happens tomorrow. There will be no blind fumblings for hope in the dark.
Don’t take this as advocacy for suicide. I’m merely attempting to explore those most awful sensations: devastation, desolation.
Wandering around in the aftermath, lost and with no discernible heading. Where do you go when the universe falls away and leaves you behind? Maybe not left with nothing, in fact you may still have with valuable people and things. But there’s that one piece, that one big piece that is now missing and never coming back. Where do you go from there?
These are not only the times that try men’s (and women’s) souls, they are when I actually begin to envy religious fundamentalists. They always have a center to their universe and never even question it. Critical thinkers, while many of us do believe in God, aren’t so certain. We come up with too many rational avenues for doubt to travel to us.
I wish I had more philosophies to introduce at this point in the post. I'm sure there are but I'm just too drained to look for them. Nothing from Descartes or Hegel. Maybe just something from a bumper sticker I saw in this rural area: "Keep On Truckin'."
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