Thursday, November 22, 2012

Obligatory Thanksgiving post




I am pacing myself.

I know that this will be a day of food, so I'm having little to eat until the big meal itself.  So far, my intake has consisted of two donuts and my regular coffee.  Plenty of room available for turkey and everything that comes with your typical Thanksgiving dinner.

(Hang on.  It will get positive again.  I just need to take a brief moment to bitch and moan.) 

This day, however, seems to have mutated into a "pre-party" of sorts for other activities.  Given the pic above, I'm sure that you can tell I am by no means a fan of Black Friday.  I'm no fan of commercialism at all, but this day of "man's inhumanity to man" over "gifts at the best price" truly inspires ire in me.  Oh yes, look how far we've progressed as a species.  From the outside looking in, you'd swear we were still Australopithecus, crawling out of our caves and beating each other senseless in competition over a juicy slab of mammal.  Only difference is that we have iPhones.  If you have the guts and the fortitude, try Buy Nothing Day



Additionally, Thanksgiving seems to get blooped over more and more every year to move the Christmas season up by another week at least.  Around here, people took advantage of the moderately balmy weather for this time of year (score one for Global Warming!) to hang their Christmas lights.  While I'm writing out of any true passion for this day and I am looking forward to seeing the Christmas lights in the town square once more, I just don't know where the trend will stop.

That bit out of the way, I will say that I do love a good Thanksgiving dinner.  And I do have much to be thankful for.  While the year 2012 has brought me more terror and sadness than I have ever known before in my life, I can still give thanks.  I know that I am given to hyperbole, but I mean that last sentence with every bit of sincerity I can possibly have.  It's the truth.  So what am I thankful for?  Here goes:

-My family.  Because of them I have a roof over my head, food to eat, and support.  We're weird, but it all works out in the end.

-My dogs are healthy.  There was a scare, now there isn't.  That alone is worth more than its weight in comic books.

-I am better off than many.  That is not a tout or a boast.  Just a statement of fact and a humble counting of my blessings.  It doesn't take much to find out how well off you really are these days.  Just watch the news.

-Barack Obama has been re-elected President.

-My friends.  Those guys and gals are the bestest.  For example, just yesterday I spoke with Bernard Sell about writing a play for his school.  I am excited.  I plan to start work on it after the craziness of NaNoWriMo subsides in December.

-Speaking of NaNo, I am thankful to be involved in that crazy activity.  Writing another trashy "Men's Adventure" with even more firepower than the last one has been a welcome distraction.

Hey, there's a thought.  What if I combine a few of the things for which I give thanks?
You know how the President often goes and visits overseas troops on Thanksgiving and other holidays?  Imagine the following scenario and PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE understand that I by no means wish harm on the President.  Heck, I've been writing about how much I support him.

Air Force One gets shot down.  Yeah yeah, it's been done a million and one times, but stay with me on this.  Obama survives the crash and finds himself somewhere in the Middle East, behind enemy lines (his family is just fine, they're all back in DC.)   That's ok.  He knows where a US military base is located.  He just needs to get there.  It won't be easy.  There's a horde of bad guys out there with AK-47s and RPGs.  Yeah?  Well those guys are about to find out that they just fucked with the wrong President!
Can't you see it?  Obama with a .45 pistol in each hand?  Doing Hong Kong-style action moves, that fluid blend of martial arts and guns?  Or wait!  He steals a bus and like Clint Eastwood (oh the delicious irony!) in The Gauntlet, he rams that bus through the streets of some burg out in the sand before crashing through the gates of the US base to safety.  Classic.  I want a movie and action figures.

Face it.  "Ken doll" Mitt Romney would still be crying back at the crash site.

Happy Thanksgiving.


My e-novella, Hound of Winter is available for only 99 cents

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