I have lived my entire adult life in metro Chicago. We have a joke in this locale that there are only two seasons: winter and construction. Both snarl up the already teeming mass of motorvehicles making their way to jobs, dentist appointments, shopping malls, and bars across the local roadways.
When I get into "my shiny metal box" as Sting would say and undertake the commute to my job like all the other drones, I become one of those many drivers. I have not one, not two, but three points in my commute where two lanes narrow down to one. This prompts an invariable stock car-like jockeying to thwart the other drivers, prove you are the alpha male, and cut off or block out whomever happens to be in the other lane. Fun times. Not too tough to see why Chicago has such a high amount of a car crashes and road rage. In fact, traffic and commuting are factors that have contributed to the city being labeled as "One of the most unlivable areas," or something to that effect. And my commute is a piece of cake compared to most.
While stuck at a Metra train crossing the other day, I began to fantasize about what kind of vehicle I'd rather be in for taking on these "mean streets." Here's my short list:
If this ain't the grandaddy of all fantasy rides, I don't know what is. Self-sealing tires, thick armor, and a top speed that rivals an Indy car. I could drive it to the worst areas of the community I work in, place it in park, and holler out "Shoot all you want, thugs. Won't make a difference." Then hit them with the tear gas. Thoughts like that keep me warm at night.
Built for speed and loaded with as many gadgets as a Bond car but with a far more elegant design. Always liked the hummingbird robot with the camera relay. I could fit the car with metal bars that shoot out from the sides and the rear. Would cut down on tailgating and safeguard me from someone changing lanes without looking. Dope.
Why deal with traffic at all if you can just fly over it? Would seem a nifty solution. Besides, weren't we all promised flying cars by now? Just not in the kind of society that Blade Runner took place in? Frighteningly enough, I think we're closer to that lifestyle than we are to those cars.
Oh who am I kidding? I want the recovered UFO that Bob Lazar supposedly worked on at Area 51. The anti-gravity drives might be cool, but I'm not sure I could drive it without the aura of its previous occupants giving me the heebie jeebs.
Pics of the Batmobile and the Mach 5 are from Wikipedia.
The flying car is from Forbidden Planet UK
Lazar's UFO is from UFO Database
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