Saturday, July 27, 2013

Weird dream alert


I lived in a townhouse.

I was painting my walls with murals.  The images were somewhere to between the classical of the Sistine Chapel and abstract splatters.  That and all the female figures looked like something Patrick Nagel would paint.  The furniture and carpet were not at all my style and it made me wonder what the hell I was doing there.

Then the doorbell rang.  It was an elderly Asian man in a suit.  He introduced himself to me as my new neighbor and held out his ring to me as if he wanted me to kiss it.  I just sort of looked at him.  He kept jutting it at me but I refused.

He had a dog with him.  This dog decided to invite himself in to my home (or I guess that's what it was.)  My dog Chewie attacked.  I separated them and apologized, even though I didn't think I was the one at fault.  The Asian man gestured for me to follow him to the porch.  He had an entire entourage outside. Before I could say or do anything, he shook my hand and smiled.  Reporters snapped photos.  As if to give an additament to the occasion, the guy flashed his plastic-covered ring to the gathered citizenry.  Then he left.

"Do you have any idea who that was?" someone said.

Turns out the guy was a drug lord from Southeast Asia.  From the Triad or something.  He moved here to the U.S. to ostensibly make an attempt at a normal life. He wanted to be seen in the press with a "normal" American.  That guy would no doubt be in for a shock.  I began to fear I would somehow be implicated in his crimes.  Thought the police would show up at any second.

But I was late for a class I needed to teach on Norman Mailer.  I worked my way through the street that was clogged with news trucks.  Everyone asked questions but I refused. 

Then at class I found that I wasn't really prepared to teach having not graded papers the night before.  I managed to get through it.  Among my students were Lady Gaga and Bill Clinton.  Turns out it was the last day of class.  Lady Gaga was so appreciative of the experience that she gave me several passionate kisses.  I told Bill Clinton that a hearty handshake would be sufficient.

Blessedly, then I awoke.


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