Presenting Galaxy Laser Team

I trust you are familiar with the standard "plastic green toy soldier." Well, prepare to meet the science fiction equivalent.

Galaxy Laser Team was a cheap toyline sold as a bagged collection in drug, dime, and department stores back in the late 1970s.  While I can't say for certain whether or not I actually owned these as a child, I do remember my friend John having a set.  We were both Star Wars junkies and I'm certain one or both of us got these as a gift from an adult family member who picked up the bag in the store and thought, "Eh, close enough."

Well these toys are now available for basement deals at sellers such as Amazon for those of us seeking to relive their youth.  As with the aforementioned toy soldiers, the bag of figures come in solid stock poses and you either get solid blue or green (although I believe orange and red versions are also available.)  But the glory of these toys is that they come with no attached storyline.  That means that you get to write all your own plot, character backstory, and dialogue...even though I'm certain what John and I did was not all that dissimilar from either the Battle of Yavin or an episode of Buck Rogers (which was hot at the time...as was Erin Gray.)

Here they are:

These guys appear to be the "work-a-day" folks of the Galaxy Laser Team universe.  After all, somebody has got to keep the space fleet up and running, right?  Best not to oppress the proletariat, lest you end up with an "Occupy Coruscant" movement.

As with any science fiction saga worth its salt, there needed to be a robot.  In this pic we also get a look at the only female character in the GLT set...who by the look of things was designed with the same ethos as found in an episode of Mad Men.  You can almost hear the male characters uttering in craven voices, "Say, who's the new girl over in ops?"

These two represent the only non-humans in the set...besides the robot I mean.  There's a turtle-like alien and what is either a riff on Chewbacca or the Yeti.  Either way, he's big, he's hairy, he has antennae, and he's carry a big ass gun.  It gets no cooler.

If you're going to market a toy to young men, you'd better be sure it's weaponized.  On the left we see your standard space ranger type out to defend us from threats emerging from out of the void. The one on the right?  I'm not sure.  I may have spoken too soon with "only non-humans in the set." Is he supposed to be the Darth Vader of the mythos?  Well, upon closer inspection of his face...

Sorry, but that's the best the focus and zoom can do with my iPhone.  Anyway, I think you can see the more than passing resemblance with the alleged "face" on Mars...

Freaky.

Each set comes with a spaceship.

This is obviously an F-16 given the X-wing treatment. It also doesn't stand up very well.

What would my storyline be with these guys?  I'll let you know as it develops and of course would love to hear from readers as to what they would like to see in terms of plot.  Right now I'm leaning towards the members of Galaxy Laser Team discovering a sinister alien plot.  The alien race has been involved with the humans in a sort of START treaty that limits offensive weapons.  Anyway, GLT stumbles across the evil empire secretly installing ICBMs (or the galactic-level equivalent) on asteroids that are way too close to home.

Yes, if I'm going to show my age, might as well take it all the way.

Speaking of which, I have only one real memory of playing with these toys as a kid.  John and I had the day off from school.  We went to a Catholic elementary and Pope John Paul II was going to be celebrating mass in Chicago live via TV.  The school's powers that be were unable to procure a TV large enough for the day so we were told to stay home from school and watch the mass.

Guess what we really did?

I might not have gotten that "special blessing" alleged to have traveled by television to all viewers, but I sure had Galaxy Laser Team.  Which is nice.

And thus my life as a farceur may have been set.




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