Thursday, February 6, 2014

You'd think aliens would be smarter

Folks over at Buzzfeed have me thinking about alien abduction again.

The site provides "9 Ways to Protect Yourself in the Event of Alien Abduction."  Among these executable steps are to stop smoking pot and cease eating pizza before bed.  Though the tone of the article is satirical (or I hope to God that was the intent, anyway), it has me coming back to aspects of the abduction phenomena that bug me in terms of logic...or lack thereof.

Consider this: I and several others have long since posited that if humanity is poised on the edge of a transhuman singularity, then an older, more advanced alien civilization must have achieved this state long ago.  In all likelihood, they merged themselves with technology to overcome their own inherent biological flaws.  So why are their methods so relatively cumbersome?

One of the nigh-omnipresent aspects of the abduction narrative is the taking of genetic samples.  Abductees report this being accomplished through a variety of methods, but shouldn't there be a way to surreptitiously obtain these samples with no one being the wiser?  Just today I read about Ray Kurzweil describing how implanted nanobots will be able to, among other things, allow us to connect to the Cloud without need of external hardware.  Wouldn't an advanced civilization have its own nanotech (a neologism for robots or other technology as small as molecules perhaps)?  Doesn't that make more sense than a full-on abduction drama that includes erasing memories...that invariably seem to come back anyway?

And what do the aliens do?  Well in the infamous abduction case of Barney and Betty Hill, Mrs. Hill was subjected to a large needle inserted into to her navel, not unlike amniocentesis.

On board a UFO.

Just seems like there should have been a more elegant solution.  By the way, I am not impugning the Hills.  I truly believe that something happened to them and they suffered greatly as a result.  I'm just skeptical that "aliens" were the culprits.

Let's also think about this in terms of biology.  What are the odds that a lifeform that developed light years removed from Earth would have enough in common with us on the genetic level that our bodies would be of any use to them?  I can't say that it seems likely.  That is unless alien technology is sophisticated enough to overcome these biological differences in ways we can't yet imagine.

Speaking of technology, why can't these aliens better mask their presence from us?  Looking at the UFO sightings with truly great evidence, e.g. Rendleshem Forest, Phoenix, Washington D.C., it's almost as if the occupants of the crafts wanted to be seen...or perhaps they couldn't help it.  Either way, it doesn't speak highly of so-called advanced technology.  That is unless the aliens are every bit as susceptible to Murphy's Law as we are.

Or maybe "they" aren't aliens at all.

Once more, I do not wish to cast abductees in a bad light.  I'm certain that there are those who are experiencing something genuine and that it can't be fun.  I just question the pat notion that we're dealing with aliens and not something more along the lines of Jacques Vallee's theories on consciousness or John Keel's notion of beings on a "superspectrum." It's weird stuff, I know, and I don't embrace it over the alien hypothesis entirely, but it does solve certain logical conundrums...

...while raising a whole lot of others.

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1 comment:

  1. On FB, Frank said: "Yeah, you'd think they'd reach the limits of research via anally probing humans. you'd also think a race advanced enough to achieve interstellar travel could do away with needles."